American Retirement - French and Saunders

Jimmy Kimmel's Handsome Men's Club

And you thought your job was bad

If you think your job is bad and you find yourself often complaining, consider these jobs....

Don McMillian - New Office Math

Don McMillian - Death by Powerpoint

Russell Peters Indian Vs Chinese

Blue Collar Guys + Drew Cary - Big Deck

Ron White does his 'Tator Salad - Drunk in Public' Routine

This is one of my all time favorites - be prepared to laugh so hard you'll cry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7WLfY2455o

Bill Engvall - Dorkfish

Bill Engvall's Here's Your Sign

Do you know anyone that needs a "Stupid" sign?

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope. Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright! , Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good...They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn' get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning .. okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

Bob Newhart Roasts Don Rickles on the Dean Martin Show

Woman returns to work after 30 year break

You probably need to be 50 or better to appreciate this one. :-)

Funny posts in patient's hospital charts

 
1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
 
2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
 
3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
 
4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
 
5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
 
6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
 
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
 
8. The patient refused autopsy.
 
9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
 
10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
 
11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
 
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
 
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
 
14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
 
15. She is numb from her toes down.
 
16. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
 
17. The skin was moist and dry.
 
18. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
 
19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
 
20. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
 
21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
 
22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
 
23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
 
24. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. [Just how big IS "circus sized"?]
 
25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
 
26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
 
27. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
 
28. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
 
29. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
 
30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
 
31. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry - Poetry Suitable for the Modern World

Russell Peters - Indian in Italy

Comedian Russell Peters is fabulous!