Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Puns - Corny but Funny


When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid . . . says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
  
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny -- period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen.  The  police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Richard Simmons on Whose Line is it

Time to revisit Whose Line is it Anyway. The next few posts will feature some of my favorites. This is probably the funniest one of them all. I laughed till I cried and then some more.